Behind Every Child Who Believes In Themselves Are Parents Who First Believed

We give our children wings when we believe in them. If we have faith in their dreams and what they can do, they can fly.

That’s why we have to play the role of mentors, dream makers. Parents need to understand that one day their child will follow their example and not their advice.

Children need to know that despite how difficult life can be, they can achieve anything they want.

Therefore, if your little one is in doubt, if hard times have made a dent in his self-esteem and you don’t know how to help, you just need to help him see that everything he needs is within him.

Self-regulated learning and emotional intelligence

You could say that the cornerstone of emotional intelligence is self-regulated learning. This means that the strategies a child can master lead to greater inner well-being. This allows for a better understanding of his own emotions and those of others.

Emotional skills predict our children’s success more reliably than academic achievement. Yet this reasoning does not mean that good social-emotional performance is more important than academic.

If we think about this, we will see that our children are immersed in education for almost the first eighteen years of their lives.

It is a fact that cannot be ignored. Their emotional growth happens at school. They usually spend more time with school or homework than in the park.

A child who believes in himself needs encouragement

Therefore, a child must learn to reflect and identify his strengths and weaknesses. It is also essential to help him deal with the feelings that arise from misunderstanding, when he cannot concentrate, or when he does not know how to solve problems.

If a child knows how to regulate his learning, it is an active and constructive process. And it is reasonable to want our children to know how to regulate and control their thoughts to achieve their goals.

If a child believes that he can learn multiplication tables, he will succeed. But to gain that conviction, children need encouragement from outside sources. Especially from the parents, siblings, grandparents and teachers.

This is essentially what we know in psychology as the “pygmalion effect”. That is, the expectations we convey are a determining factor in whether they will achieve their goals. And even more so when parents and teachers are the most important adults in a child’s life.

We are not talking about a magical “where there is a will, there is a way”. We’re talking about not clipping their wings. Instead, you teach them to fly. You teach them that there is more than one right way of doing things.

While the education system forces children to arrive at a result in a certain way, they must understand that experimentation is indispensable for learning.

Every day, boys and girls, parents and teachers understand that while we must teach our little ones to follow academic standards, they also need to know that they can paint, write, act, observe, talk outside of those standards…  Following your own path gives confidence and that is always accompanied by perseverance.

What can we do to support a child’s self-esteem?

We are so obsessed with our own self-esteem that we forget to stimulate children’s self-esteem. Yet it is very important that our children grow up in a world of balanced adults. Really, that’s the best we can give them.

• Speak kindly to children.  Being kind to our little ones means acting with love, patience and positivity. If we do, we will set a good example for them and help them balance their emotions.

• Tell them stories that enhance their introspection. Children need to understand that it is of the utmost importance not to ignore what they think, feel and do. Through communication we gain knowledge about people (ourselves and others) and things. This makes it easier for us to understand the world we live in.
• Improve your internal dialogue.  You do this by telling yourself nice things about yourself and correcting the negative things you say to yourself.
• Give compliments and don’t mock.  We are talking about highlighting, reinforcing and acknowledging their positive behavior. Here’s a golden rule: praise in public, criticism in private.
• Help children deal with frustration and teach them to take pride in their achievements.
• Make them feel like an important part of the family.
• Avoid overprotection and encourage good socialization with peers.

• Be an example.  Parents should be a good example of self-confidence.
• Encourage mental flexibility to ensure creativity.  There are hundreds of ways to do things, let kids discover their own things.
• Help them set goals and be more independent.
• Value their opinion.  Children should not think that their opinion does not count. We have to take into account their wishes and thoughts according to their age. How? By discussing and debating with them, they feel heard.

We don’t want kids who have to be perfect because we don’t want to cultivate pride. We want children who love each other and are confident in themselves and their potential. In short, we want them to know that by being themselves they will always win.