Feeling Lonely In Your Relationship: What Can You Do?

Feeling lonely in your relationship can be extremely painful. It hurts not to know why your partner is emotionally indifferent. After all, you want to feel loved in a relationship and have the company of your partner. Few types of loneliness are so problematic and so prevalent.

Gustavo Adolfo Becquer wisely said that solitude is very beautiful as long as you have someone to talk to about it. Many people with a lot of followers on social media still feel alone and cut off from their environment. This not only causes psychological distress, but also health problems.

This is not a new problem. People have always struggled with loneliness in their relationships. Thanks to modern studies on loneliness, researchers are discovering more and more about this phenomenon that affects people of all ages. Couples young and old experience loneliness and emotional indifference.

What can make you feel lonely in a relationship?

The most intense grief comes from the cold silence between two people who have sworn to love each other forever. Sometimes one of the partners forgets his promise and chooses (consciously or unconsciously) to be emotionally indifferent to his partner.

Situations like this don’t usually happen overnight. Psychological alienation often creeps in unnoticed. It happens when you stop paying attention to the things you once enjoyed together. It happens when you forget details, stop listening to your partner, or just don’t bother anymore.

Alienation in a relationship has serious consequences. It is very painful to see your partner grow further and further away from you, but it also has other consequences. Experts such as Dr. Aaron Ben-Ze’ev, philosopher, psychologist and relationship expert, explains:

• It is important to distinguish between being alone and being lonely. Being alone means no one is physically with you. In contrast, being lonely is a psychological reality that is becoming more common. Surprisingly, those who experience it the most are people with relationships.
• This kind of loneliness often leads to depressive disorders and anxiety. According to studies like this one conducted by Dr. Greg Miller at the University of Manchester, loneliness is just as dangerous to health as smoking or leading a sedentary lifestyle.

Let’s analyze some of the reasons why you might feel lonely in your relationship.

Not being in love anymore and fear of changes

Sometimes you are no longer in love. This can feel like a cold draft that you don’t know where it’s coming from. Suddenly, although nothing has changed, things seem pointless, uninteresting and boring.

There is not always a concrete reason why the infatuation disappears. Sometimes it just happens, and it’s hard for both partners. If you are clearly aware that you no longer love your partner, you should express your feelings honestly.

Cheating on your partner (or cheating on yourself) can have serious consequences. One is subjecting your partner to your emotional indifference, despite how hard you try to hide it.

Stuck in your routine

You are more likely to feel lonely in your relationship if your daily routine becomes overwhelming. Between work, kids, and responsibilities, you may not have time for affection or connection.

When that happens, even your conversations become mechanical, without any affection, love and intimacy. One way to deal with this is to try to change things or seek professional help. In either case, being passive hardly ever helps to solve the problem.

What if you yourself are the reason you feel lonely in your relationship?

Sometimes you reach a point in your life where you feel inexplicably empty. It is a mixture of discontent, existential crisis and fear of change.

These situations are more common than you think. Some people feel lonely in their relationships because they have changed and are frustrated because they don’t have what they want.

In this case, it’s easy to blame your partner for not being able to give you what you want, even though no one is directly responsible. However, the truth is that your loneliness comes from your transformation.

You have evolved and your perspective has changed. Your likes and dislikes, needs and motivations have also changed. Perhaps you are on a different track professionally, you want to be more independent, or you long for new social contacts. People live in a state of constant change, and those changes can affect your relationship.

Finally, it can be said that loneliness in relationships is very common. It is also the cause of many divorces. This is partly due to the following:

• First, because it causes suffering, psychological problems and health problems.
• Second, because no one should experience this kind of pain or its consequences.

So, if you experience this kind of loneliness, try to get to the bottom of it. Find out the root cause. Talk to your partner and try to come up with sincere, respectful and responsible solutions.