Finding Support In A World Where Everyone Turns Their Backs On You

Sometimes our courage becomes rusty and almost without knowing how we are overwhelmed by disenchantment. That’s when we need the most support,  and that’s when most people turn their backs on us. Until someone suddenly speaks the magic words that have a healing effect:  I’m here for you, everything will be fine, don’t worry.

Support is a basic value that goes beyond a simple social conscience or solidarity towards our peers. Support means responding with affection. It also means materializing our empathy for help. It implies supporting one with emotions and with action in which true affection is hidden. Most devoted and integral kind of affection.

It’s interesting how we all somehow see ourselves as strong and invulnerable creatures with a golden shield. Despite this, every warrior falls once during battle. And we are not weaker by asking for help. We are all grateful for a helping hand during adversity.

Emotional support, the sincere language of the heart

Support is sometimes a language that speaks in different tongues. Some people don’t know how to ask for it. They hold back, are quiet, hide and go on with their lives with a broken soul and a mind taken over by despair. Others, in turn, do not know how to give it. They limit themselves to brief moments when “that’s not important” or “you’re worrying too much” is the only thing that comes out of their mouths because they want to please others and get rid of it quickly.

Emotional support should speak the same language as the heart of the person in need. You have to focus on it. To do this we need two basic dimensions. The genuine desire to connect with the person sitting in front of you, and the right skills to offer that help,  that comfort, that support.

In a world where so many people turn their backs on others, we have to get used to looking at other people. Our children long for that daily support, which can be achieved simply by being there. By showing them that they are unique, special and amazing. Support is also the ability to provide light when one is overwhelmed by darkness.

Supporting your loved ones, a bond of strength

Mutual support in our relationships is like a bridge you can use to navigate life’s problems with more confidence. Above all, it means that you should not give up so that together you can achieve what you could not do alone. Of course, it also means that someone loves us when we feel we don’t deserve it.

Supporting the person we love requires a subtle yet deep wisdom that we should all adopt and practice. Here are some simple strategies to think about:

• You should be respectful of your partner’s emotions and feelings. Always choose an  I understand  or an  I’m here for you  instead of saying it’s not so bad.
• Maintain physical contact, speak the language of hugs and caresses. Take your partner’s hand as he pours out his heart to you. Offer him genuine support and affection, authentic empathy.

• Never ridicule your partner,  no matter how innocent his problems seem. Not in front of him, and certainly not in public.
• Never put off a conversation  when your loved one wants to tell you something important, don’t leave it for another time. The best time is always now.

The joy of knowing you will always be there

In a society where we are used to turning our backs on people instead of giving hugs, we need to change this mindset. We must learn the unique, wonderful and healing language of support.

Support mainly means that you lift someone on your shoulders in order to place them higher. To help him see other perspectives. To walk other paths that avoid his present difficulties. Good support is support that allows us to grow, not support that humiliates us in a paternalistic way, reminds us of the mistakes we have made, or the wounds we have suffered.

It’s also nice to be able to rely on people like that who know how to be there for us when we need them. People who ask nothing in return and who accept us completely, with our virtues and our flaws. With our obsessions and defenselessness.

Also remember that it is not your beliefs that make you a better person, it is your actions. So if you have people in your life who have sunlight in their hearts and glitter dust in their pockets, treat them that way too. Support them when they need it, keep them company, groom and lift them so they can look over your shoulder too. Help them see new horizons, new opportunities in times of adversity.