Relationship Debts: Making Sacrifices And Expecting Something In Return
We all know what debt is: it is a payment obligation between two entities that must be met. However, few people realize that relationship debt exists, especially between couples. Today you may find that you still have some open relationship debts to settle in your relationship.
Relationship debts arise when we give up something important to ourselves in a relationship. These debts are real sacrifices. However, because of this great sacrifice, we expect certain things in return. So we take out a relationship debt that no one notices.
The pitfall of relationship debt
Relationship debts are pitfalls that we never notice. They arise from a lack of direct or genuine communication in the relationship.
Instead of expressing how hard it is for us to accept a situation that we don’t like, we remain silent. As a result, a silent guilt arises that the other person does not know. What happens then? The accusations begin.
For example, imagine that your partner has found a job in another country. It’s an incredible opportunity and you decide to go with him. This means quitting your job and hoping to find a new one in the country you’re going to. However, over time you start to blame your partner for not being able to find a job and living far from your family.
In addition, most of all, you are faced with the sacrifice of allowing your partner to develop professionally while leaving everything behind, including your own professional development. So you want the other person to reward you for your sacrifice. So you just entered into a relationship debt.
Relationship debt or emotional blackmail?
You can have relationship debts between partners, friends or even family members. Sometimes they end up in emotional blackmail. We demand what we believe we deserve. We sacrifice ourselves and give without limits, but in the end we want unlimited compensation in return.
It is common to think that if we give up something for a relationship, we will somehow be rewarded for it. Every relationship is a constant give and take. However, this is far from what we understand by a relationship debt.
This type of debt is taken as an opportunity to show how much we care about someone. At the same time also to ask and receive what we believe is sufficient compensation for our great sacrifice. We want to exert control that we don’t have. This is when the blackmail begins.
How can we avoid this?
How can we avoid this? You can indeed avoid this situation. First of all, we must immediately understand that although it may seem cold, we must tell the other what you expect in return for your efforts. If you realize that you will not receive a quarter of what you expect, then it is probably better not to make the sacrifice.
It is also necessary to be alert to the sacrifices that other people make for us. In addition, make clear what you do not want to allow and the demands you do not want to accept in exchange for what others do for you.
Almost all of us have incurred relationship debt without realizing it. These debts damage bonds, cause painful fractures and create enemies. We should start paying off all those relationship debts and learn not to make them again in the future.
