August: Osage County, Family And Psychological Damage

Our family is our starting point and in many cases still influences us after our childhood. The film August: Osage County manages to paint a correct picture of a family that is far from idyllic.

From the outside, this family seems perfect. Those who are part of it, however, know how the fork really is in the stem. The family members find themselves caught between their love for each other and the bleak panorama of an environment full of frustration, jealousy and competition instead of love and protection.

Short summary of August: Osage County

After the family’s patriarch commits suicide, his wife calls her three daughters to come home and attend the funeral. For each of the daughters, however, this return brings up a lot of conflict and resentment from their past.

Their father was a refugee for many years and their mother is a drug addict. Their marriage was very destructive. All their father did was comply with his wife’s demands and complaints.

Their mother felt that he was not treating her fairly. She punished her husband for cheating on her many years ago. From this infidelity even a child was born. This is the big family secret.

Both parents grew up in poverty and were severely abused by their parents. As a result, they have become hard people who are used to the hardships that often accompany life. Both are proud to have triumphed because of their hard work.

However, they also both tended to project their own desires onto their daughters. Although none of the three daughters seem to live up to these expectations. The matriarch feels deep contempt for her three daughters and questions every choice they make in life.

A passive-aggressive mother

The matriarch in August: Osage County is narcissistic. She has a passive-aggressive personality. She only sees the mistakes her daughters make. She also blames them for the opportunities they have, which she never had. The matriarch is manipulative and overly dramatic when her tricks don’t turn out the way she would have liked.

The matriarch thinks she has to compete with everyone. She uses every bit of information she gets about her daughters against them. Every positive comment she makes is accompanied by “hidden” negative comments.

The matriarch is a crazy woman who feels attacked because her daughters lead their own lives.

She does everything she can to get her daughters back home and remind them of the “obligations they have to their mother.” She always reminds them that she had nothing and makes them feel bad for having too much.

The oldest daughter

The eldest daughter has always been the mediator during family crises, both for her younger sisters and for her own parents. She is very controlling which also caused a lot of problems in her own marriage which eventually caused her husband to divorce her. However, no one in her family knows that she is divorced.

Although her ex-husband and daughter love her very much, they can’t stand the fact that she can never relax. She herself experiences a lot of inner conflicts and she absolutely does not want to make the same mistakes as her parents.

The middle sister

The middle sister in this film is the one who takes care of her parents. She has never been married and hasn’t done much with her life except take care of her parents. Because of this, she developed a lot of resentment towards her parents and sisters. She has a very strange relationship with a half-niece that nobody knows about.

The matriarch is grateful for being the caretaker. Still, for some reason, she constantly attacks her. She also disapproves of her because she never raised her own family because of her ‘unfeminine appearance’.

She even makes fun of her. This daughter finds it extremely difficult to get along with others and seems to have developed an avoidant personality.

The youngest daughter

The youngest daughter in  August: Osage County , seems to be completely lost. She is a very childish and fragile woman who constantly wants to please everyone in order to be accepted. She goes from one relationship to another her entire adult life, taking risks with men who don’t treat her well at all.

The youngest daughter is a very emotionally dependent person. She tries to convince her mother at all costs how ‘happy’ she is and how perfect and idyllic her current relationship is.

However, the other family members simply see her partner as ‘the boyfriend of the year’. It’s hard to say based on the information we get in the movie, but it’s very possible she’s not fully developed emotionally.

Recognizing Patterns

The three daughters grew up in an authoritarian environment. Their parents have never shown any affection for them. In addition, they have always wanted to exercise control over their lives. Because of this, all of them have developed a disorganized attachment, although each of them deals with this in a different way.

However, when faced with family crises, they fall back on denial. This makes it easier for them to uphold their insincere family environment.

Each of them has developed different defense mechanisms for survival. In short, it seems like a ‘normal’ family dynamic to outsiders, but in reality the family is completely dysfunctional.

While August: Osage County is just a movie, it does paint a good picture of the psychological damage families can do.

A few months ago, the Provincial Hospital of Castellón de August analyzed Osage County during one of its meta-training seminars. They looked at each of the problems from a therapeutic perspective.

Many people can relate to these family roles. They should be studied more thoroughly, for the psychological well-being of both those who grow up in them and those who suffer from them even into adulthood.