Missing Someone Who Doesn’t Miss You

You know it’s not healthy to miss someone who never gives you a second chance. You know it’s a mistake to dwell on what you want to happen instead of facing reality. You are aware that you are allowing yourself to suffer, but you just can’t stop.

You cannot avoid all the things that remind you of the past and make it impossible to move on with your life.

No medicine can turn off your memories or erase the pain of missing someone who is no longer in your life. So your only option is to deal with it in the healthiest way. This kind of suffering is part of being human. These experiences shape who you are and teach you how to be resilient.

We are not trying to say that suffering is always an inherent part of learning. However, there is no point in giving up and despairing when the going gets tough. You are more willing than you think to overcome life’s challenges. When you put your broken pieces back together, you will realize that you are stronger than ever.

How can you stop missing someone who doesn’t miss you?

While longing for someone who isn’t thinking about you is unhealthy, it’s also very common. That person is the first thing that pops into your head when you wake up and the memories you shared with that person keep you up at night. During the day, every song, TV show, restaurant, book and every simple detail reminds you of that person.

Living in the past is not healthy. Moving on is crucial to your well-being. However, you should understand that this is a normal and common problem. There will always be a grieving period where you will have to deal with a wide variety of feelings, fears and emotional pain.

You don’t have to feel guilty for going through this completely normal process of missing someone. However, it is important not to let it last too long. When that happens, this normal process becomes pathological, something psychologists call “frozen grief.”

In that case, even though you convince yourself that you’ve moved on, you haven’t actually gotten a closure. This limbo state leads to increased stress and anxiety because you are still experiencing the intense effects of the person’s absence.

Why is this happening?

It is important to clarify that moving on does not mean forgetting. Instead, it’s learning to live with the memories in a way that doesn’t hurt you. Remember that it is not easy for the brain to forget memories associated with meaningful and intense emotions.

The combination of neurotransmitters and hormones like oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine that play a role in your personal relationships is to blame. When you’re with someone you love, your body releases this delicious chemical cocktail that triggers intoxicating emotions.

When you are no longer with that person, your brain still needs the “dose” of neurochemicals to feel calm. If it doesn’t work out, you will feel unbalanced and anxious.

There is a solution

Over the course of your life, you will miss many people in different ways. You will be homesick for old friends and colleagues and will be in pain if you lose someone in a traumatic way. It’s natural to long for people who were important to you, especially if the relationship ended in a bad way.

Meaningful relationships, especially romantic ones, often end without mutual consent. Sometimes one person is no longer in love or he or she falls in love with someone else. Sometimes you are simply not happy with some aspect of your significant other. In those situations, one person always carries the burden of unrequited love.

There is a solution to all this, so don’t despair. While it’s not a miraculous quick-fix, if you’re committed, you can move on with your life. Let’s look at some effective strategies.

No contact

While this can be difficult, it is important. If you miss someone, you will obviously be tempted to get in touch with him or her. It’s easy to think that if you have one more chance to talk, you can win them back.

But if you really want to get over a breakup, you should avoid these kinds of situations. You should also unfold them on the social media and avoid reading their comments and liking their posts.

Let go of resentment

When a relationship ends unhappy, it’s easy to be angry or frustrated. The search for an explanation leads to you alternately blaming yourself for what you did or didn’t do and blaming your partner for the fact that he or she treated you badly. This only makes the feeling worse and hinders the grieving process.

New projects, new goals

Missing someone can anchor you in the past and keep you there, unable to escape your pain and desire. You cannot move forward and you cannot change.

Don’t hang around. While you should miss the person you lost, don’t let it go too far. Miss them just enough to find closure and move on before your memories become a burden.