We’re Not Who We Used To Be

We’re not the same people we used to be, when everything seemed both near and far. We will never be the people we used to be because life requires us to change. Not being ‘who we were’ means we’ve been lucky with experiences that changed us and taught us.

It is often easy to confirm that the people around us have changed and with it the relationship we have with them. Other times we find it difficult to understand that we ourselves have become different and realize that we are making a mistake by looking at the past with today’s eyes.

When we change ourselves

It makes sense to note that we usually define ourselves in terms of significant events that have left their mark on us and that we know we will remember forever. These events can be the result of interactions with reality, of romantic disappointment, and even the fear of facing a mortgage payment.

For example, let’s say we are going to another country for a while. There we will have to adapt to the way of life of the people, to the habits that are different from our own and to the perspectives that open our minds. Or another example might be that we believe we have found an unconditional friend and find out it isn’t true.

Whether the experience is good or bad, it is enough to fill us with feelings. We will never forget true happiness, nor will we forget our disappointments. What remains after the experience is over will be the model of what we are today. Our essence is the same, but we are not.

When our social circle changes

If we have to change as individuals, so will others and so will all the relationships we share. When our social circle changes – family, friends, our partner – it is useful to adapt to the changes.

However, it can also happen that the changes lead to a break. We thought we knew the people completely and we didn’t take into account that you can never know someone completely because we are constantly growing.

When someone leaves our social circle, it hurts us a lot and it seems like our world is falling apart. Only time and effort will allow us to find that person again and confirm that the wound has healed. Once again we will realize that we are no longer who we used to be.

We are not who we used to be

Time moves us: it passes over us, it shakes us, it teaches us, it exposes us and above all, does not leave us indifferent. In fact, every day, even if it seems like a wasted day, has meant something. We are constantly making decisions and when we do we let ourselves be carried away.

Disappearing is fine, even if it doesn’t look like it. It doesn’t matter if we get lost in the sky, like when we’re on a cloud of lasting happiness, or if we get lost because we’ve been on the ground for too long. Both situations have been our teachers and they have shaped us a little more, both physically and psychologically.

It is important that we have the courage to know ourselves and the certainty that we know how and who we are. In this way we will be able to give ourselves completely to everything else and find the core of joy that fills us. In other words, as we shine through our changes, we will help others shine with their own glow.