I’m Only Looking For What Makes Me Feel

There are times in our lives when we need to prioritize. We need to stop trying to adapt to things we don’t feel comfortable with and free ourselves from expectations, unwritten contracts and demands that trap us.

Sometimes we can free ourselves from our worries about the opinions of others. There are times when that is not important and we just want to breathe and feel a sigh of relief; to be ourselves.

At certain times of our lives, we no longer feel that we need to solve the problems of others and not our own. Because often times, the best way to help is to disconnect from the problems of others that consume us. Indirectly, of course, to allow us to empty ourselves and become aware of who we are.

To be happy we have to distance ourselves from certain things

To be happy we have to distance ourselves from certain things, such as suppressing our emotions. If we don’t feel a certain way, we get entangled. For example, it happens with sadness, an emotion that we have socially criminalized.

We don’t realize that in order to be happy, we have to accept certain things, understand ourselves and allow ourselves to express our emotions, because each of our multiple emotions deserves to be heard.

It is a matter of self-knowledge and growth. If we remove the pieces of our puzzle that suppress our sadness and hide our fears, the most immediate consequence will be that the smiles will disappear from our faces.

Why? Because we hide, not caring for that part of ourselves that tells us something and whose job it is to make ourselves heard (or better yet, be heard by ourselves). That is why it is important that we can feel without censorship.

Feeling, the basis of our well-being

Feeling, that fundamental pillar of our emotional health. The best cleansing mechanism is to stop putting obstacles to our emotional abilities and focus on understanding how we feel.

Letting ourselves cry, controlling our joy, being open to surprises, thinking about our anger, this is what really helps us get close to contentment.

For this we can apply methods such as mindfulness, which help us to get in touch with what is really happening and what we are feeling. That is, we must become fully aware of everything that is happening around us.

It is also very good to reorganize our habits. We can get used to writing down how we felt during the day or how the people around us make us feel. Focusing on emotional experiences is the best way to put this skill (and need) into practice, which we have indeed lost.

Reconnecting with our emotional brains

Our brains house both the storm and the calm of our experiences. They process everything; they load and unload. The intensity of conflict and what we allow ourselves is felt in the amygdala, our emotional guardian.

It is the place, along with the hippocampus, where every emotional event resides. For example, the amygdala functions as a storehouse for memories and impressions, which explains why we sometimes have answers and sometimes we don’t.

In a way we have to train our brains so that not every emotional event is traumatic and can easily fade. Thus, the amygdala, responsible for “remembering” the emotional climate, will facilitate the handling and coordination of various emotions.

Therefore, it is necessary to alphabetize our brains and not allow them to disconnect from what we feel. Because at times we realize that we may have wasted our lives building barriers to our reality and undervaluing what each emotion has to tell us.