How Many Times Maybe Between ‘yes’ And ‘no’?

We don’t say what we want to say, we say ‘yes’ when we want to say ‘no’, we deny when we agree, maybe it means ‘yes’ or it means ‘no’… What’s wrong with us if we give our opinion?

We often find ourselves in situations where we really didn’t want to end up at all because we just didn’t know how to say ‘no’. Sometimes it’s because we’re afraid of the reactions of others, sometimes because of a compromise.

Maybe the reasons don’t matter. What is important is that we deny ourselves if we want to disconnect what we think and want from what we say.

Know when to say no

Learning to say ‘no’, to refuse something if we don’t want to do it or if we just don’t feel good about it, is essential if we want to be happy and at peace with ourselves.

There are many reasons why saying “no” is so important:

• You are not accommodating. We need to learn to say ‘no’ when we are really just doing something because someone else (spouse, parents, children) wants to. Avoiding becoming dependent or living just to please other people will make  us feel freer.
• Choose for yourself. Our lives cannot be in the hands of others. If we don’t choose what we want to do, where we want to go, and what kind of people we want in our lives, then we live the lives of others and not our own. The people who love us often think they know what is good for us, but sometimes, despite their good intentions, they are led by their fears and those are not our fears.

• Say ‘no’ and get rid of your fear. When you want to say ‘no’ and also say ‘no’, you feel liberated, in harmony with your thoughts and your deepest feelings. On the other hand, if you are faced with an unpleasant situation that you got into for fear of saying ‘no’, you feel uncomfortable, stressed and anxious.
• Make yourself happy, not others. It is true that  sometimes you have to give in, but never at the expense of your own happiness. Decisions made out of fear of the reactions of others or out of a sense of obligation will have a negative effect on you in the future because you are not happy and do not make your own decisions.

Advice to learn to say what you really want to say

Be assertive

Assertiveness allows us to express our emotions and what we think in a clear way, while not creating discomfort or hostility. Assertiveness means we can express what we want to say, while showing empathy, but without leaving out what we really want to say. It is saying what we want to say with love, respect and determination.

Strengthen your self-confidence

Self-confidence, or what we think of ourselves, is fundamental if we want to say what we think. Low self-esteem leaves us at the mercy of the opinions of others.

It is essential that we learn to have our own opinion and to value ourselves as people  so that we can live a happy and fulfilling life so that we can have the life we ​​want.

Stop feeling guilty

Think of all the times you have said what you thought without feeling guilty, but instead liberated and at peace with yourself. That is the feeling that should prevail. Be yourself, with your good and bad qualities. Don’t feel guilty for who you are.

Think of all the things you say yes to by saying no. For example, if you are asked to work overtime and you say “no,” you are saying “yes” to spending more time with your family or friends, to doing what you enjoy in your free time, and so on.

–Images courtesy of Alexandra Nedzvetskaya, Cathy Delanssay–