Missing Things The Right Way

Learning to miss things is part of personal growth. Feeling the lasting trace of an absence can consume you at times, which is why it is so necessary to master the art of saying goodbye. Letting go  is painful and sad, but ultimately it is also part of life.

The concept of missing someone is always associated with people, but it’s interesting how  people are also experts at missing objects, situations, animals and even abstract things that are impossible to define. These empty emotional and existential spaces and inner worlds are so complex that they sometimes pose a risk to our mental health.

I miss the person I was before, when I was happier and more hopeful. This idea, this sense of regression that many people have probably experienced at some point or another, is what psychologist Robert Plutchik  defines as ” hungry for the past,” which he also illustrated in his famous wheel of emotions.

Living in a bubble full of homesickness turns into a desperate yearning for something we once had or were. And after  that, craving degrades to vulnerability and vulnerability turns into fear and even the onset of depression. So, before we let ourselves drift like  Ophelia  plunged herself into a worrying underwater world, we need to train ourselves in the art of saying goodbye and learn how to miss things.

The land called ‘Miss’

There is an invisible land, a parallel, imprecise, elusive world that we all go to from time to time, called ‘Missing’. We open the door to get in every time someone we love leaves us. We go there when we leave a routine or activity that was meaningful to us. And we live there almost permanently when we lose someone or even when we are very dissatisfied with ourselves.

In this cave there is always blowing a cold wind called craving. Craving for something or someone. We have trouble  breathing  because there is a hole in our heart through which everything falls one by one. The land called ‘Miss’ is a dark and gloomy maze that you should NEVER stay too long in,  because the deeper you go, the more you forget where the way out was again.

Living in a permanent exile like this will make you desperate and very dissatisfied with the current, real world. Before you get stuck in this twilight, you need to be able to make smart decisions during periods of emotional difficulty so that you can leave the labyrinth and see that missing out is a part of life  , not a way of life.

Train your emotions in the art of saying goodbye

It is important to learn how to close a chapter. Instead of yearning for who you were yesterday, invest in what you can become today. Learn how to miss the people who are no longer with you, but let them go to a special place in your heart while you try to be happy again. Life is all about making choices,  putting one foot in front of the other and getting out of those horrible personal mazes.

Now is the time to reflect on some strategies you can use in these situations.

Finding your way out of the maze of emotional problems

Missing someone or even missing things puts you at a crossroads of three powerful battlefields: craving, fear of loneliness, and emotional vulnerability. These are the three wise enemies you need to get to know and tame.

• Experience confusion. With craving, confusion also comes into play. What am I going to do now? What will become of me? You will be bombarded by an endless barrage of feelings and emotions. You have to experience them for a while, accept them and then release them.
• Analyze the emotional thicket you find yourself in. In order to process the pain of absence or emptiness, it is essential to analyze and dissect the emotional stuff that is suffocating you.
• You can overcome cravings by setting new goals in the present. The fear of loneliness can be stopped by being brave and enjoying your own company  while seeking the support of others.

• Emotional vulnerability can be solved by looking to the future with more courage than fear. This can be done by investing in resilience, the kind of strength that no one teaches you, that you discover day after day with every firm step you take. You can do it yourself, sometimes in the company of others, with the solution of someone who takes responsibility for their own story.

You must be able to create a new path in life without the shadows of an absence or emptiness making you question your decisions. People always miss things, people or fragments of a great past. All these things are pages of our lives that we cherish with affection, but they are also just chapters in a novel that has much more in store, with many more lines to be written.