Being Instead Of Doing: The Solution To Many Problems

One of the first questions we ask ourselves when we have a problem is “what should I do?” After which we immediately start thinking about our possible options. However, some problems cannot be solved this way. The reason for this is that we think about what we can do. However, we must be rather than do.

This may sound somewhat abstract. In fact, however, it is a very concrete idea. Some problems are not solved because the solution does not lie in a specific action.

These kinds of problems call for a change, be it a change of focus, in our attitude, or some aspect of our personality. For this reason we say that sometimes the solution lies in being instead of doing.

Doing something becomes useless if the problem has to do with our way of being. For example, consider someone who repeatedly tries to get his partner to pay more attention to him.

He will often complain about this to his partner. He may also promise to try to be less needy. His partner may even say that he will try harder.

However, this does not solve the problem. This is because it would be best to just not complain (do). Instead, the person who wants more attention should look within themselves to find out where their need for attention (way of being) comes from.

Being instead of doing in different circumstances

Sometimes we can’t put our finger on a problem. Often we are not even able to indicate why a particular situation is problematic. However, we often feel the urge to push or deny the problem.

We see the problem solely as an annoyance or a threat that needs to be addressed as soon as possible.

This means that we often act in a rush when faced with a difficult situation. We act immediately or react without thinking. We don’t take the time to properly analyze the situation before doing something.

Often people just can’t wait. Our current society is not focused on how ‘people are’, but how ‘people act’.

Doing something usually helps to solve most practical and material problems. If the sink is leaking, you need to fix it. There is not much else to think about here. There is a visible problem and a clear solution. There are already established ways to deal with this problem.

However, when it comes to more abstract problems, the situation is slightly different. There is no established solution. These are problems where being becomes more important than doing.

Our attitude to a problem is personal

Everyone reacts to problems in their own specific way. Some people see problems as challenges that spark their interest. Other people see them as risks that need to be addressed.

This is when ‘being instead of doing’ becomes important. This is when people develop their attitudes when it comes to responding to difficulties.

We can greatly benefit from observing our own attitudes when dealing with a problem.

Would a more constructive view help me solve the problem? Have I faced this problem before? Have I been able to effectively solve this problem in the past? Do I react to it the same as before?

Being rather than doing means that we must try to answer these problems. We have to look within ourselves at what we feel and think. Introspection should be the foundation of how we deal with problems.

It is likely that our attitude to the problem and how we approach the problem determines whether or not we can find a solution to it.

Observe, Accept and Understand

Being rather than doing involves trying not to react immediately to our problems. When someone attacks you, sometimes the best thing you can do is not to counterattack right away.

When you fail at something, it may be best not to try to minimize or hide your mistake. If you’re having relationship problems, the best solution is probably not to nag your partners.

We should not get carried away by our urge to react immediately. We also need to avoid getting into a fight right away. However, the answer is also not to turn our backs on our problems. Instead, we should look at the situation broadly, without being influenced by prejudice.

We have to accept that we have a problem. Without this immediately worrying us. Instead, we should be guided by our observations. This helps us understand what is really happening.

In other words, the first step in solving a problem should be to focus on our way of being. If we take the time to look inward before acting, we will likely be pleased with the outcome.

Being instead of doing. First find ourselves and then take the next step. Look in instead of out. Work on ourselves first, so that we can find better solutions.