Come Let’s Look At Each Other To Say Goodbye
Come on, let’s face each other to say goodbye. I have to explain why I’m leaving. I want to make it clear that sometimes love is not the answer to all voids or the cure for all mistakes. I say hello while sitting right in front of you because that’s how people who once loved and deserve respect say hello.
We love blindly and we love with all our senses and with what some call our ‘soul’.
However, blind love can never provide enough security for the relationship to flourish over the years. What we need is the deep love that offers us that complete calmness; where the wrinkles are not seen as a sign of the many years together, but of the days when we lived in harmony and happiness.
Until now, no one has the “magic formula” that guarantees such love. In the meantime , we continue to risk ourselves, let ourselves get carried away and walk the complex path of emotional relationships.
You’ll agree that the divorce is one of the hardest moments. And during your lifetime you may have tasted the bitter essence of ‘abandonment’ and ‘being abandoned’…
Cutting ties, no matter who does it, always causes pain in some form, even if the separation is sometimes justified.
What was the last time you experienced a breakup? How did he or she “break up with you”? Or how did you do it? Over the phone? In a message? Leave without saying anything? These ways of ending a relationship are not appropriate and are especially unhealthy on an emotional level. ‘Goodbye’ should always be said straight to the face, staring into each other’s eyes and acting from our hearts with complete sincerity…
“It’s not up to you, it’s up to me”
We know it’s not easy to tell the person we shared our emotions, dreams, feelings, and projects with that we no longer love them. Or that we still love him, but we are unhappy with him. You don’t want a second attempt that will only cause more suffering.
It’s not easy, but it has to be done. The farewell is like a chest full of mixed feelings, but with a clear need: to let go and close a chapter. To proceed to.
We should never fall for the well-known “I want to break up with you, but it’s not you, it’s me.” Behind these famous words is the intention to avoid hurting our partner, whom we no longer love, by exposing the truth. That’s why we hide behind ‘it’s not up to you, it’s up to me’ .
We choose to take the blame. By projecting this false liberation of the couple and by focusing on the problem within ourselves, we victimize ourselves and this makes it easier to leave. We avoid the truth and leave immaturely; our partner will never know what really happened.
In order to disconnect and end a phase in a fully and mature way, we must never fall into clichés or white lies. The truth hurts, but sooner or later we have to confront it. Doubts, however, encourage false hope.
Ways to say goodbye to a relationship
- First, we must realize that the divorce will be final. You know it will be for the best and you are completely convinced.
- It is quite possible that he or she already sensed the break in some way. However, some people would rather wear a blindfold than accept the truth, take the plunge and do what is best for both parties. Any love based on a lie eventually falls into the abyss of slow misfortune.
- First think about what you are going to say and if you want you can practice it out loud. When you visualize your words and listen to them, you can confront the emotional burden. Experiencing these beforehand will be helpful. You will have more control over it when the time comes.
- Then think about the possible arguments he or she will have about what you just threw on the table. Ask yourself how you will justify or defend yourself.
- Visualize the goodbye and the distance. This includes pain, but at the same time it is a form of liberation, something that you have fully and maturely dealt with.
Confronting the goodbye after you’ve left
Leaving someone causes great suffering, but having the role of the abandoned person can cause a different kind of pain, one that can become incredibly destructive: we lose our self-esteem and our self-confidence…
You can’t let this happen. Don’t get carried away or become a victim. Everything can be overcome. The best remedy? Time and reclaiming your hope.
For example, being abandoned for someone else or feeling inside that our partner no longer loves us, are situations that require us to grieve very deeply and to rise again from this grieving process.
Whatever the reason for the relationship coming to an end, we all deserve to have our partner look us straight in the eye and explain in advance why he or she is leaving. Not knowing results in great concern and false expectations.
It causes us to lose important time that we should use to ‘rebuild’ ourselves, to accept the loss and rise again to move forward on a different path.
Breakups that happen through third parties, phone calls, or simply consist of coming home one day to find an empty house puts us in a cycle that is incredibly difficult to break.
Every goodbye requires that we sit right in front of that other person and look them straight in the eye. The break must not be veiled by false ideas or by cowardly squeezing out of them, causing pain and suffering.
Be brave. Show courage and emotional maturity towards your partner. In life there are doors that close and cycles that follow. Everything must be done with integrity and inner wisdom.
