Deactivate Your Ego To Love Fully
The ego has a limited view of reality and it only accepts its own point of view, its own way of understanding the world and even its own way of loving. Few things are as damaging and destructive as selfishness, be it a friendship, your job, or a romantic relationship.
The ego likes things to go the way it wants, for the world to be organized according to its own perspectives, its own personal conception of right and wrong. It is not a lover of unforeseen or spontaneous circumstances or reactions that are beyond its control or express the will of another.
To love fully, we must deactivate our ego, which allows others to love us freely, to be people of their own free will and not to be who we want them to be. Love that is offered spontaneously and completely is without doubt the most complete and authentic form of love.
What is hidden behind the mask of the ego
It is normal to start a relationship with people who display virtues that are, by definition, admirable. Aspects such as self-confidence, strong self-esteem, self-confidence and even the need to protect can blind us at first.
Over time, however, this initial need to protect turns into possession and a need for control, to the point that we have to adapt to the other’s patterns. In other words, what we first mistook for a need to protect is in reality a fear that we will escape the other’s control and expose their vulnerabilities.
High-ego people strive above all else to be recognized by others and especially by their partners because they are unable to acknowledge themselves. And the reason for this is fear, which they keep hidden under their egos in order to survive.
In reality , it is not easy to deactivate the ego of the people we love. Once we discover it or once we realize that their virtues are actually double-edged swords and that they use their egos to create expectations for us to live up to, make it clear that all they do is try to fill their own void through dominance and an unhealthy attachment, which they use to hide their own immaturity.
The Many Faces of Selfishness
The ego has many faces and we are sure you already know some of them:
- Using victimhood as a weapon.
- Striving for recognition in everything they do, say and express, without ever thinking about the other.
- Taxing you in order to unburden their ego.
- Always looking for someone to blame for problems or situations they create.
- Refusing to be spontaneous, try new things, or deviate from the routine. Not letting you enjoy your own hobbies in your own space.
- hinder your personal growth.
Learning to deactivate the ego
We must understand that the ego completely removes us from mature love. Mature love is offered completely and freely to the other person in the relationship. It means that we cherish what we have in common, but always respect the personal growth of each party.
If your partner is the prototype egoist, set boundaries from the start and make it clear that love doesn’t judge, checks or fills its own emptiness and insecurities through manipulation. Love is not burdensome. It is personal growth and completeness.
It is necessary that we stop doing what our ego wants and start enjoying things as they happen. Only then will our sense of love awaken, which will make room every day for spontaneity, a freedom that knows no attachment and where everyone is in control of themselves and in turn is part of a common plan.
We must not forget that many of us are, in a sense, a little selfish in the emotional sense of the word. However, everything has its own balance. If we release the ego to act with all its intensity, we will never see the reality of things, but only our own needs and the negative feelings they produce.
–Images courtesy of Benjamin Lacombe, Toon Herlz–
