Five Tools For Problems And Conflicts

Our lives are plagued by problems and conflicts that surprise us. Sometimes we handle these gracefully, other times not really.

This sometimes causes us to ignore the problem or conflict and put it right next to us. But this does not mean that the problem is gone. Nor is it a solution to the anger that we, and everyone else involved, may be feeling.

Today we discuss the tools at our disposal to solve those problems that, often enough, paralyze us and keep us from moving forward.

1. The problem is there, don’t ignore it!

As we mentioned earlier, it is often the case that we ignore the problems around us in the hope that they will disappear with time. However, ignoring our problems will not save us from them.

Ignoring a problem may make the problem disappear for a while, but at some point in the future it will come back to you, or it will not leave us at all, leaving us in a constant state of problems and conflict.

We should face the problem and find a solution as soon as possible. The saying ‘what the eye does not see, what does not hurt the heart’ does not apply to this situation.

2. Replace old views with new ones

Most conflicts and problems arise because we have old views in our heads that do nothing more than prevent new views from entering. The longer we remain fixated on a view, without allowing ourselves to question it, the more problems we will have and the more conflict we will experience. But why is this happening?

Being sure of the validity of our views, rather than eliminating or replacing them with new ones, makes us believe they are true, even if they are actually insignificant. This will inevitably cause problems because we think we are right when we are actually wrong. Listening to the opinions of others is fundamental to adopting new views that will enrich our minds.

3. Visualize your future

Be aware that how you visualize your future affects how your present will be. If you visualize a negative future, your present will be much less positive.

What should you do? Think positively, visualize the situation without the problem and make an effort to find a solution. We should never look back. We should only look ahead.

Changing your way of looking at things will help you be more positive. Don’t let your problems control your life and determine whether things will go well or badly. You have the power to visualize a recovery, to confront your conflicts and to find a solution.

4. Stop Abusing Yourself!

We cannot deny that problems and conflicts that arise between people can become violent, in every sense of the word. But what happens to our own inner violence?

It is not just the situation that is violent. It’s not just misunderstanding and anger. We exert violence against ourselves by suppressing emotions such as anger and by not expressing certain opinions.

Abusing yourself is nothing more than a ticking time bomb. Your inner violence will not be good for the conflict you are trying to resolve. All that pent-up anger will somehow always come out, which will only lead to more conflict.

This doesn’t mean you should start yelling and show your anger whenever you feel like it, but you should stop trying to please everyone and start being yourself.

5. Congratulate yourself and others whenever you can

Many conflicts are extremely difficult and require a lot of effort, because most of the time we are dealing with people we love.

If this is the case, the solution is very simple. You know everyone makes mistakes. Sincere words that encourage the other person such as ‘I know you put a lot of effort into it’ or ‘you did this all by yourself’ could therefore be a solution to any problems that arise.

You should also say these words to yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to say them to you; do it yourself! You are aware of your own efforts and hard work. This will also help you be aware of the work other people are doing.

Acknowledging your own efforts will help you understand the efforts of others. Conflicts and problems hurt both you and other people. Relationships will be damaged, anger will take over your life and your health could be affected. Never ignore conflicts; confront them.