Fleeting Love: The Fragility Of Relationships
Fleeting love. You may have heard about this interesting concept. It was explained by the sociologist Zygmunt Bauman, who uses this poetic but poignant metaphor to clarify the reality that seems to surface quite often these days: the fragility of relationships.
It’s hardly surprising that relationships are becoming more ephemeral, given society ‘s broader tendency toward one-time consumerism and the quest to satisfy our short-lived needs. We are not just talking about interpersonal relationships, but also the relationship we have with ourselves. Bauman himself called this “the liquidity of self-love.”
For example, are you aware that in order to love another person maturely, you must start by loving yourself? This is a permanent problem in our society because many of us do not have a solid foundation of self-love.
Let’s talk about this today and let’s delve deeper into this interesting concept.
Fleeting love and individuality
At times, establishing a strong, committed relationship is not such an easy thing for most people. Fear and immaturity can make it impossible to imagine an authentic, solid, stable relationship with future prospects.
Bauman himself explains to us that many relationships today are more “connections” than “relationships”. And we are no longer just talking about the domination of new technology and social networks; this concept goes a little further than all that. There’s no doubt about it: this is something that looks disturbing. We live in a dynamic world where the real sometimes mixes with the virtual, a fluid modernity where many things seem to just slip through our fingers.
We enter into unstable relationships because our society, in turn, seems to be praising more flexible human relationships. And no, we’re not just talking about relationships with a partner; let’s also think about the education of the little ones.
We offer them lots of toys and countless gadgets, we set up a blackmail game where we reward them with new gifts when they pass an exam. We drop them into a consumer society with a lack of values, almost meaningless. We create individuals who look like tyrants, who don’t recognize the limits and who in some way eventually become human beings, offering conditional, fleeting love. Their friendships are born on social networks and to end one of those relationships that no longer interest them, all they have to do is click the “block” button on that person’s profile.
There’s no doubt about it: this is ultimately quite shocking.
The importance of self-love for counteracting “fleeting love”
Humans are not consumer products, nor do we have a decline in value due to aging, like electrical appliances. We think, feel and love. But we should always start with ourselves and see ourselves as people who deserve to be loved.
A fleeting love always leaves us with an empty heart and that is something no one wants. The consumer always remains hungry and deeply dissatisfied. What is the meaning of life with such great uncertainty?
Sometimes there is personal insecurity behind a fleeting love; we consider ourselves incapable of maintaining a relationship strong enough to thrive, strong enough to build a future with the other person. Insecurity is a reflection of a self-esteem that is not sufficiently developed.
Nothing is certain in this life and we are all groping in the dark. As I begin to trust myself, I will slowly begin to move with greater confidence, trusting in stability, through genuine commitment to myself and those around me.
Bauman tells us that in order to be happy, we must consider two essential values: freedom and security. Security without freedom is slavery, but freedom without security is total chaos. We all need both dimensions to find balance in our lives.
Do you agree with that?
