Getting Angry At Losing Control Of Yourself

Anger is not always bad. Anger serves a purpose, just like any other emotion. However, there is a very fine line between sustained anger and plain rage.

In this article we will discuss this second, more negative, aspect: rage occurs when we show the darkest side of ourselves. When we get angry, we act on the basis of a voluntary response – which is why the reaction is inevitable – because we are faced with an outside threat: nobody makes us angry, we get angry.

The anger that leads to rage confuses us

Anger is no longer positive when it becomes toxic because we can no longer control it. When you lose control and give in to anger, the problem really starts: the anger takes over and obscures our reasoning ability.

It is able to obscure our reason in such a way that it is not so strange that in a situation where a discussion causes us to lose control of ourselves, we choose a different path. We forget what was the real reason why we got angry. Anger and rage become the guides of our emotions and this allows us to fall prey to making mistakes.

The mistakes we make can mean saying more than we intended and doing it in a bad way. The mistake of snapping at each other in favor of our arrogance and selfishness (we don’t listen and we only think about our own point of view). In short, by getting angry, we suddenly find ourselves in a certain position without knowing exactly how we got there, or why. A place we really didn’t want to be at all.

Trust in the possibility that there is another way

What should we do then? This question arises when we become aware that the negative side of anger is difficult to neutralize. So then we must be able to trust that there may be another way of understanding the events that have taken place. Due to certain circumstances – such as constant stress – we can become angry on a regular basis. No matter what kind of situation we find ourselves in, one way out of it is to look for tools that can prepare us both psychologically and emotionally for conflict.

It is especially important to know that something can happen just like that that can change us. We should accept this possibility. Arguments will not cease, as will that feeling or irritation that overwhelms us when we get involved in an argument.

Nevertheless, becoming aware of our weaknesses – the points that make us truly vulnerable – will help maintain these weaknesses when necessary. We can find redemption for this by writing, by blowing off steam through techniques such as yoga, or by developing a slightly more positive view of the world, in which humor plays a much greater role, for example, etc.

The paradoxical lack of control over the uncontrollable

As we mentioned above, it is true that in conflict there is an action-reaction situation and it is difficult not to lose control of ourselves. However, we also indicated that ultimately we ourselves are the ones who can control our anger. In this sense, we argue that we are all masters of our own emotions and attitudes and that, paradoxically, we are incapable of controlling ourselves.

On the one hand, it seems that there are people who get angry faster than others. These people become more intensely upset than the rest (they yell, make themselves known, and are more likely to offend others). On the other hand, it is just as common to use anger to express other negative feelings that society considers worse, such as envy.

We make mistakes: Anger is part of our human nature, but it is good for us to maintain control over ourselves so that we always remain in control of our own behavior, and no one else. In short, it is best to avoid anger, and the emotions that equate to it, products of frustration.