How Routine Affects A Relationship

How many times have you heard that a strong marriage broke down because the two people “just didn’t love each other anymore”? However, is it possible at some point to stop feeling love for someone or are we just not trying hard enough to nurture this love? Could it be that we neglect love too much and fail to realize which things we struggle with the most? 

Routine and monotony are undoubtedly two of the reasons why many couples argue, break up or get divorced. However, we can also use both to our advantage and improve the bond we have with the person we love and with whom we feel a degree of comfort.

Imagine yourself as a detective investigating a murder. The deceased man in question is called ‘Love’ and the main suspect is called ‘Routine’. You start looking for evidence and find out that Love trusted Routine too much, until Routine finally stabbed him in the back.

Doing the same things every day is something that often happens in many people’s lives and therefore also in the lives that two people share. This is what causes many people to break up, not because their “love for each other is extinguished,” but precisely because the routine is broken.

Without a doubt, the greatest enemy of love is monotony, otherwise known as dullness. Always doing the same things, going to the same places (or going nowhere at all), talking about the same things, watching the same movies, the same holiday destination every year etc…

Routine can be the catalyst for many other problems in a relationship, such as infidelity. Having said this, of course, our intent is not to excuse the actions of someone who has cheated on their loved one, but rather to gain a clear understanding of one of the reasons that could be the cause of this type of behavior.

Think for a moment. What do we do when we are bored? We look for something to entertain ourselves. Something similar happens between love and routine. If we give and receive the same thing every day, we will get bored at some point and it will be easier to look elsewhere for pleasure.

A couple has to brave a lot of storms over the years. Monotony is one of the fiercest storms. Unlike other problems, however, monotony sets in slowly. And before you know it, the same thing that happened to the naive frog is happening to us. Click here if you would like to know the whole story.

However, did you know that there is also a positive side to routine? Of course there is also a positive side, because we have to see the glass as half full and not half empty. To this day, monotony is still seen as bad for a marriage or relationship. However, this need not always be true.

What is the positive side of routine?

Security

The feeling that someone cares and protects us, a feeling we get when we always do the same thing, can also be a good thing. Fear, on the other hand, makes us behave differently and we are under pressure. Many couples are afraid of the routine of eating in the kitchen every night or running errands every Saturday morning. In reality, however, nobody has to suffer from this, but one can learn what it is like to find happiness in security.

Knowledge

If a couple is always doing something different, when do they have a moment to sit still and find out what they like?  All the things that come with our daily routine are seen by the person we go through life with. And it’s definitely good to know what this person is thinking and feeling.

And what is the negative side of routine?

Monotony is bad when we are completely absorbed in our tasks or the daily worries of what we have to do and forget the person who sleeps next to us every night.

For example, if the same person cooks every night after coming home from work, it could mean that the couple isn’t asking each other how their day was. The same applies if it is always the same person who picks up the children from school and who then flops down on the couch with the TV on or immediately crawls behind the computer. These are routines that can be bad for a relationship at some point. More and more, like drops of rain falling slowly and steadily on the same stone.

These kinds of activities or habits aren’t a problem if they happen a few times a week, but they are if they become things we do every day of the week, for months or maybe years at a time.

It is therefore important to take a good look at what kind of routine suits your needs. A little routine can help build a good and strong relationship; however, if you overdo it, it can destroy and numb the love in your relationship. It’s up to you to find the right balance.