Should I Stay Or Leave?

Should I stay or leave? Few crossroads related to our existence bring us as much doubt and fear as this one. We know that in some cases it is too much to ask to stay, and that leaving would mean going back to your true self. However, this rule of thumb does not apply to all situations. So how do you know what the right choice is?

We would all like to always make the right decision and take our steps with unerring precision. Unfortunately — as much as we want to — no one is born with a perfectly tuned compass that can guide us through life. That is also our greatest strength and the adventure of life: creating our own path, through trial and error.

The only mistake we can actually make is not making decisions;  handing over the reins to chance and giving up what little control we have. If we stay stuck in our fear, we naturally become immobile, just like rusted ships against the shore of our lives. However, people who can choose one direction over another will be able to learn from that choice. This is the most important part of the whole process.

One does not necessarily exist without the other

People are forced to make choices almost continuously. We choose whether we want to drive somewhere ourselves or take public transport, whether we want coffee or tea, whether we want to stay with a friend or go home, whether we save some more money or go directly to what our heart desires. to buy. These banal decisions generally do not require much effort because we have little to lose.

The decisions that carry more emotional weight are the ones that make us feel unbalanced more quickly. Whether it’s leaving your partner (or not), quitting your job to look for another, moving abroad and starting a new chapter… Choices like these fuel something that psychologists call ‘loss aversion’. It is then as if an alarm is going off within us that warns us of imminent danger that we are not prepared for.

Should I stay or leave?

So when you ask yourself ‘ Should I stay or leave? ‘, it helps to understand a few things in advance:

• Making a choice should not be synonymous with loss or surrender. It should result in profit. An example: you quit a job where you felt at home and did a good job to work somewhere where you earned more. However, in this new place you will experience less personal satisfaction, which will make this overall situation feel more like a personal loss.

• Another example: if you choose to give your partner a second chance, it is often a stay of execution. You stretch an impossible relationship that little bit further, which becomes a personal loss because you hurt yourself. Remember,  clinging to something can be even more painful than letting go.

The answer lies within you

Sometimes you think too much about this question. So much, in fact, that it becomes a nebulous concept. This lowers your quality of life and makes  your fear and doubt take tangible forms, such as:

• Insomnia
• Digestive Problems
• Headache
• Minor ailments and aches
• mood swings

• palpitations
• Difficulty concentrating

When your mind cannot be calmed, it is out of sync with your body. This is how you develop physical imbalances. This is a clear sign that you have a serious problem that needs to be resolved. To confront the situation in the best possible way, here are a few suggestions to think about.

Two components of a good decision

You’ve probably heard someone say that the best answer is always within you. The quest for this in itself shows a certain amount of courage and requires a methodical way of self-exploration. Thomas D’Zurilla and Marvin Goldfried’s problem-solving model is a fitting example of this. It’s a simple yet inspiring theory that requires you to take two big steps:

• Have a brave and positive attitude. When you confront a problem, your attitude plays a huge role. Think back to what we said at the beginning of that article about directing all your actions toward your personal gain. Making a decision doesn’t mean you have to lose everything. There should always be a profit against your decision; something that brings you happiness and encourages your inner balance.
• Reformulate your life. There will come a time when your only option is to reinvent yourself. You rewrite your story, you take another step forward and eventually emerge all the stronger, newer and with a new glow.

So when you ask the eternal question, ‘ Should I stay, or should I leave? ‘ is confronted, know that there is not always a correct answer. It is not that one direction offers a road paved with gold and the other one of hot coals. You can make the most of the path you choose as long as your priorities are clear. Through your own effort you can give reality a more pleasing shape.

In the end, we all choose our own path.