The Danger Of Calling Someone A ‘toxic Person’

Be careful, because “toxic person” is a label that is easy to use during an argument. It means that we put all negative responsibility for the matter on someone else.

The problem is that it makes it easier for us to feel like victims: a very tempting idea, of course. That’s why it’s such a tempting resource for emotional slackers or people who think they’re perfect. And for people who think a “toxic person” doesn’t deserve empathy.

These latter people do not want to see a person’s toxicity as a reaction to a complex situation and past. They prefer to think it is inherent. In other words, a person who uses the label of “toxic person” is unaware that this toxicity, if any, may have a history.

Another reason we should be careful with the ‘toxic person’ label is that it is not a scientific label. There are no toxicity studies.

There are studies of behaviors that people later consider to be toxic. They do it ‘a posteriori’, and without taking into account many of the variables that drive this behavior.

In fact, the label is now so popular that there’s a serious chance it could be used against us. No one is safe from the “toxic person” category. It’s a short step from labeling behavior to labeling people.

Why does the ‘toxic person’ label have such an influence?

Calling someone poisonous is not harmless. In fact, it could be a very serious attack. A cruel insult disguised in moral authority one might get from flipping through a self-help book.

The term toxic is easy to understand. It gets its power because it sounds like poison. In our imagination it suggests a dangerous substance that we have to be very careful with. So when we say something is poisonous, we say we shouldn’t trust it.

It is unfortunate that the weapon of this harmful label is in the unwitting hands of so many people. It deserves some reflection….

There are no toxic people, only toxic relationships or toxic behavior

No one is poisonous by themselves.

Man has no arsenic in his body instead of blood. Sometimes we are a calm sea, where the sails seem to go up and take us wherever we want. But other times we just feel the storm, without ever seeing the water. A storm that we feed, lead or pass on very often.

In life, our expectations, behavior and values ​​will clash with those of those around us. When we feel that emptiness and uncertainty, we can choose to isolate that emotional emptiness. Instead, we shift our responsibility onto the other person.

Perhaps we should practice some introspection and work on ourselves before considering calling someone else a “toxic person.”

Toxic Dynamics Instead of Toxic Persons

Anyone can be a victim of toxic behavior. But it is more common that we participate in a toxic dynamic, and not that we are toxic people.

We do it when we don’t talk to someone out of pride because they don’t talk to us. When we insist on one subject to emphasize the ignorance of the other. When we become dependent because the other is very protective.

You can see that the term poisonous is as powerful as it is imprecise.  To say that someone is a toxic person only indicates that they could be dangerous. It doesn’t say how dangerous he really is, what aspects he affects, how we can protect ourselves where necessary.

And it doesn’t even include how we can help this person. Let’s stop labeling people and see them for the individuals they are.