The People Who Don’t Want To Lose You, But Don’t Know How To Take Care Of You

Some people don’t care at all about how to care for others, how to be considerate of others, and yet build a high wall to keep them from losing them. These types of relationships are based on the ego of an overly dependent personality demanding and ruining something as valuable as affection, only generating tears, rather than making them disappear.

The fear that we may lose our loved one includes, above all, a lack of self-confidence, and sometimes even that a person has the dangerous idea that he is in charge of his partner and that his partner belongs to him. Any relationship based on some form of fear will inevitably produce pain at some point.

Some people don’t know how to take care of you, people who can’t feel your pain and cause a lot of disappointment; remember though, if these people don’t consider you, make sure you at least consider yourself. Listen to your heart and take care of yourself.

As strange as this may seem, there are plenty of people who maintain these types of relationships for a long time. We invite you to find out what causes these kinds of relationships and how best to deal with them, always protecting your own self-confidence.

The Overdependent Control Freak and the Affectionate Person

An interesting article published in the journal World of Psychology described two types of personalities. These two personalities are a good example of the kind of unequal relationships that can only last for a while, where one partner tries to control the other, and the other just allows it. The basic characteristics of these personalities are as follows:

• The overdependent control freak experiences the bond as a kind of addiction. Behind his need to dominate is a lack of self-confidence, which leads him to use strategies and defenses to eliminate and control the other.
• The fear experienced by the over-dependent control freak is so great that he sets aside his space and his partner’s personal space to make way for one ‘micro world’. This shared world is full of mistrust, accusations and negative emotions.
• The affectionate person is very aware of his partner’s over-reliance and need for control for fear of losing the relationship.
• Still, this person cannot help loving his partner, taking care of him, and prioritizing and putting him above himself. These are very complicated relationships that slowly degenerate into a very pronounced circle of pain.

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Above all, take care of yourself

Both the need for control and over dependence are two limiting elements that create imbalance in a relationship. It is more than obvious, and we are all aware of this, that love relationships can be very complicated. In reality, however, we should say that the complexity is mainly caused by the people themselves and not the relationship itself.

Some people need control because that’s the only way they can perceive love. Others, on the other hand, really love, but lack the emotional skills they need to show proper reciprocity. Yet it is important that we value ‘excellence’ rather than ‘demand’ in all our relationships. In order to do this, it would be good for us to put the following strategies into practice.

Self-love, a relationship that should last an eternity

It is essential to never forget how important it is to take care of yourself, to take care of your own needs. Surprisingly, a study published in the journal The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that younger people have lower self-esteem than people who have already reached their 60s.

A good level of confidence, self-knowledge and the ability to maintain your own emotions will remind you that the people who don’t consider you, who don’t care for you, simply don’t deserve your attention, let alone your tears. So don’t hesitate to look for another place with your joy.

It seems as if time puts every part of ourselves in its place, as if experience molds us to mature with greater self-control and balance. However, it is also essential to enjoy each stage as much as possible and to go through life more confidently, to strengthen the bond you have with yourself, which is also called self-confidence.

Say yes to a conscious emotional relationship

Relationships that work and bring us happiness are emotionally mature and aware. In these types of relationships, there is no need for control, as there are no underlying fears, worries, insecurities, or the urge to invade your loved one’s personal space.

Conscious and mature people share their completeness with others. They don’t bring shadows and selfishness, or voids that others have to fill for them. Mature relationships are nurtured, and in return give both partners the opportunity to continue to consider their own growth process, by feeling free and at the same time part of a joint project.

In conclusion, the feeling that someone is trying to control us and not consider us can extend beyond romantic relationships. Family and friends can definitely show the same behavior too.

Do something about this, defend your own territory, take care of your rights and above all listen to the voice of your heart that asks for respect. It is essential to take care of yourself. Take care of your own self-confidence, because nobody is selfish by taking care of themselves.

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Featured image courtesy of Claudia Tremblay