Why Is It Hard To Forget An Old Love?

You may feel that it is impossible to forget an old love. It’s like trying to break a mountain in half. After all, some memories are impervious to rust. Some stories and experiences were written with the ink of passion, in a kind of magic that leaves lasting marks in your mind.

As much as you want it, it’s impossible to erase the love from the past. That’s because it also helped you become who you are today.

Lebanese writer Khalil Gibran once wrote that your heart has to break at a certain point to open to the truth. So it may actually be true that love is something you have to learn. A broken heart can truly contain infinite wisdom in the cracks it contains.

Ultimately, there is one thing you cannot deny. No matter how great the disappointment or the joy you experienced, your brain just doesn’t forget that they were once in love. It doesn’t matter how many recipes, proposals, or sophisticated strategies people offer to banish a loved one from your mind. It will not work.

You simply cannot forget the things you have experienced. You just have to accept that person’s absence and feel good about what happened (and what didn’t). This will also open you up to learn new lessons and have new experiences.

It’s impossible for your brain to forget an old love

It is often necessary to move on after a relationship and end it permanently. That goes for the well-being of both of you. Both of you will then be able to keep your dignity. You will also avoid hurting each other more than necessary.

People often say it. Breaking up in time is often the best way for yourself to stay whole. Maybe you both agree that a breakup is necessary. Or there’s just one person who prompts it. In either case, the suffering this causes can be enormous.

Studies show that it generally takes people 6 to 18 months to get over a breakup. It is impossible to forget that old love. That’s because you have no control over your own memories.

What you can do, however, is manage the emotional impact. Use the grieving process to process your feelings and accept this new reality.

We all know that love is an intense and often chaotic or confused emotional experience. No relationship is the same. In the same way, some people have it much easier than others to overcome the pain of a breakup than others.

Whatever it is in your case, the chances are slim that you will really  forget an old love . Your brain just doesn’t work that way. We explain here how this comes about.

Emotional memory and physical signs

Humans are essentially emotional beings. They once learned to apply logic and reason. Our emotions are like puzzle pieces that we need to connect with each other.

It is thanks to those emotions that we are able to bond and take care of each other. They help us to see risks and look for our own well-being.

• All this simply explains why love for the brain is so important. It is the cozy fabric that makes us feel safe and secure in a romantic relationship. Loving and receiving love can bring you a sense of calm and reduce stress and anxiety. That’s why things like betrayal, disappointment, or an unexpected and unwanted breakup can be so painful.

• You should also always take emotional memory into account. When you bond with someone like this, your brain develops many physical markers. These are experiences that your brain associates with intense things like kisses, caresses, hugs, smells, conversations, intimate moments, and so on. All this leaves an imprint of good feeling, happiness, hope and pleasure.
• These emotional bodily signs are created in the form of durable neural connections. They will just always be there. Therefore, a quick whiff of a particular scent or sight of a place can immediately bring you back. However, not only does it bring back your memories, it can also make you return to the feelings you had then.

Some old loves represent a part of you and your story

There is a very clear reason why it is impossible to forget an old love. If you could erase it from your memory, you would essentially erase a part of yourself. We humans are made up of more than just flesh and blood. Our stories are also an important part of us.

This is why you will find that the person you were then is so connected to your memories of that old love. It’s a younger, more light-hearted version of yourself, lost in the passion for another person. Your brain will never, ever want to forget that old version of yourself.

After all, in terms of personal growth, this would be exactly like taking a step back. Everything you have seen, felt and suffered from has shaped you into who you are today. Forgetting anything would be like taking away an entire chapter from your life story.

Like it or not, that’s who you are. Best of all, it’s not over yet. You always have the chance to write better stories for yourself. After all, love is always worth making an effort for and enjoying all the joy it can bring you.